Recently that yearly event called Black Friday took place. I didn’t participate. I also didn’t participate in this years newest fad, Black Thursday. According to the various store propaganda things went fairly well. Hmmmm, if you say so. I saw some footage on the news from some of the Black Friday events. It looked like a scene from a zombie movie. The recently dead returning to life and attacking the living. The recently dead returning to life being the proletariat shoppers who are brainwashed into thinking that the cheap crap they are buying (more than likely for themselves and not as Christmas gifts) is really worth having and risking life and limb over, and the living being either the store clerks, discounted merchandise or other shoppers being attacked for their items.

I remember seeing similar footage 25 or so years ago when there was a shortage of Cabbage Patch Kids during the Christmas holidays. People fighting and clawing their way through the masses just to get an item – in this case a frickin’ doll – that they believe they must have (because the tv said they must).

It’s popular! Everybody will have one! You must have one! Buy one! Look into my eyes! Buy! Buy! Buy!

So where are those super-fabulous and must-have dolls today? Oh yeah, in landfills.

Whenever I see those Black Friday ads on tv I laugh. Hysterically. They make it sound like the event takes place in Magic Fairy Land where candy canes and rainbows drop from the ceilings of pristine, freshly waxed stores and everything costs a nickel. Liars. In the ads the stores are fully stocked and there are only about 5 people shopping. My guess is that creepy and maniacal Target lady butchered the rest of them. In reality, however, it’s doesn’t quite happen that way. We all know that. There are hoards of people. You don’t get to stroll in and out in 3 minutes like it’s an early American Bandstand  line dance number.

It’s like fighting a war. Tug. Push. Grab. Dodge. And if you’re lucky, you don’t get pepper-spayed. When you leave the store usually looks like 1945 Nagasaki.

Why don’t they show this in the commercials?

Oh yeah, advertising. Liars.

Why do people put themselves through that? IDK. Maybe they’re adventurous. Maybe they like the chaos. Maybe they need disorder. Maybe they actually believe that’s how you are supposed to do it. Maybe it’s a game. Can I survive the ordeal?

I keep waiting for a Black Friday PTSD lawsuit filed against one of those big discount stores. Advertised as Happy Land, but in reality…HELL

Of course, not every Black Friday event is like this. I’m sure that some of them are quite sane. But, I’m one of those Murphy’s Law people who would stumble into one of the stores where chaos ensued. So, I avoid it. Like the plague. The Black Plague.

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2 responses »

  1. W. Massey says:

    Black Friday should probably get a name change to White Trash Friday. It’s despicable what goes on in some of these stores. Great post!

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