When I was a kid I lived in the movie theater. In particular, the Flick Twin Cinema. I would go and see the same movie every day for 2 weeks.

Mom: Where are you going?
Me: To the movies.
Mom: What are you going to see?
Me: The Poseidon Adventure.
Mom: Didn’t you already see that?
Me: Ummmm, yeah.
Mom: Didn’t you already see it about 10 times?
Me: Ummmm, yeah.
Mom: Don’t you have homework?
Me: I already did it. (lie)
Mom: You are spending too much time at the movies.
Me: I know. Bye.

I had to go. I had to get away from my horrible teenage life. Boring friends. Parents who just didn’t understand. Bullies. That obnoxious school I went to. Friends who made fun of me. Teachers who told me that I wasn’t living up to my potential. I had to escape all of that crap, so off to the movie I went. Even if I’d already seen it a gazillion times.

One time I went to see The Summer of ’42. Some of those obnoxiously twirps from my school were there. In particular, 2 cheerleaders. They sat right behind me. I’m assuming to torture me. Anyway, I had a cold that day and sniffled throughout the entire movie. The next day at school they started telling some of the other kids that I was crying in the movie. It spread like wildfire. When asked about it I explained that I had a cold and was NOT crying. Even though it was true they didn’t buy it. 14 and 15 year olds are illogical and stupid.

A few days later I went to see The Summer of ’42 again. I had decided to take a break from the movies (humiliation and slight trauma), so I had skipped a few days. When I walked into the theater I saw some more kids from my school. Ugh. In addition, there were some kids from the high school who had also heard about my alleged crying. Double ugh. As soon as I sat down it started.

Hey everybody, there’s that kid who was crying in the movie! Hey crybaby Robert, are you going to cry again?!

I ignored them. Then I felt a whack upside the back of my head. It was a box of jujubes. Bitches!

I stood up and in front of the crowded theater I screamed, “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES”!


Then a gasp…

Then the usher coming down the aisle…

Then me being asked to leave… without a refund.

Then a call to my mother. It was from some lady who went to my grandmother’s Church. She had been the gasper…

Then grounded and no movies for 2 weeks.

The word at school was that I went all psycho. All I did was scream, “Fuck you assholes”, but you know how rumors spread. According to the gossip mill I had gone all ballistic and had to be physically ousted from the theater. Not true. The usher never laid a hand on me.

Anyway, some of the kids at school invited me to join their prayer circle. I needed forgiveness for my tirade. Only it wasn’t a tirade. If they would have been there they would have known that. But they weren’t there. They just believed the rumors and assumed them to be true. They needed the prayer circle more than I did. All I did was get fed up with taunting and spout obscenities. They judged based or gossip and assumption. No facts.

After a while it all died down. I had explained the situation to the theater manager and apologized. He understood. I was allowed back in to the theater. By that time The Summer of ’42 was no longer playing. I guess that’s a good thing because I really hate that movie now. If it ever comes on TV I scream, “FUCK YOU SUMMER OF ’42”!

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