WOW! I can’t believe that this year is almost over.
Really Bob? That’s the first line of your blog post? Who are you – Miss America writing in her blog a week before she is supposed to give up her crown?
Okay other cynic self, how would you start the post?
Yo, Beeee-otches! 2011 is about to bite the dust and Bob didn’t do crap this year!
Well, I’m not saying that. It’s a tad bit too negative, and besides, I did plenty this year.
Oh really? Like What?
Ummm, well… I went to the Reel to Real exhibit at the Arkansas History Museum and saw the Gone With the Wind and Civil War exhibit.
BFD! Anybody can do that. All you have to do is walk around and look at stuff. Besides, don’t you live in a state that was part of the side that DIDN’T win the Civil War? Loser!
I wasn’t even born yet, so technically, I’m not the loser. Propinquity, that’s all it is.
Stop using big words and show me pictures!
Big Deal, a typewriter! So what.
Hey, not just any typewriter. It’s the typewriter that Sidney Howard used to write the Gone With the Wind screenplay.
So what. NEXT!
Okay, how about Vivien Leigh’s and Sidney Howard’s Oscars. That’s kind of cool.
Did you add that text to that picture?
Well, it’s lame. Plus, you forgot the apostrophe after the h in ‘Leighs’. This picture is boring. YAWN!
I don’t think I like you.
Shut up and tell me what else you did.
Well, I had my picture taken with Justin Bieber when I was in the mall. That’s kind of exciting.
Exciting? It is nothing of the sort! I have 2 things to say about that picture. One – you are not a 12 year old girl, and two – THAT’S NOT JUSTIN BIEBER. IT’S A CARDBOARD CUTOUT!
Sure, it’s a cutout, but…
But, nothing. What you SHOULD have done was stolen the damn thing from the store and taken it with you around the world and had it photographed next to famous landmarks. Or at least drawn a mustache on it.
I don’t have enough money to travel around the world.
Not my problem.
Besides, it had one of those electronic ankle bracelets on it so that people wouldn’t steal it.
Again, not my problem. You’re boring me. What else did you do?
Well, I made this painting with the Jackson Pollock app that I have on my iphone.
Hmmmm, I don’t like it. It sucks. NEXT!
I went to St. Louis.
Double yawn. NEXT!
I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.
Well, I suppose that I can’t really say anything bad about that. Except… well, you’re not wearing pink, so it kind of makes you look like a poseur.
Don’t you have anything nice to say?
No, not really. Although, you DID manage to make it through the year without any major maladies, so I guess that’s something…barely. Anyway, I really haven’t seen anything impressive, so, I think we’re done here.
Wait! There is one other thing.
I lost over 50 lbs. this past year.
Now that’s what I’m talking about. Bravo!