Downtown Little Rock – Pictures I took this morning

 I wrote on the Before I Die wall. I went with the obvious and wrote “See The World”.

I like Little Rock because of the older buildings. Certain parts of it are very noirish. You can walk down certains streets in the middle of the day and be the only person around. You almost feel like a ghost. It’s eerie.

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Childhood Trauma in Flight or My Alec Baldwin Connection

So, this morning on the news, when they were rehashing that Alec Baldwin getting kicked off the plane story for the BILLIONTH time, the newscaster said that he got kicked off for playing a video game. Words with Friends is NOT a video game. He also said that it was an ADDICTIVE video game. Okay, again, it’s NOT a video game. As far as being addictive. Hmmmm, well, I got bored with it. You can’t spell dirty words. That’s no fun.

Anyway, I hate when those newscaster are so overly-dramatic. They take an extremely sublunary story and try to turn it into some big deal. STOP DOING THAT!

I should have taken a plane instead of a bath.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to fly. My friends tell me I’m silly. They say air travel is much safer than riding in a car. They say that you are more likely to be killed from a fall in the bathtub. Really? Then how come those people that die in airplane crashes haven’t already died from a car accident or a fall in the bathtub?

It’s not just the plane crashing that bothers me. It’s the tight quarters. It’s the people. It’s the crying babies. It’s the having to wait to use the toilet.  It’s pretty much everything.

I’m kind of claustrophobic. Also, I don’t like to be stuck someplace without an escape route. For me, being a passenger in an airplane is like being held hostage. You have no control. Your safety is in the hands of people that you don’t even know. I’ve heard all of those horror stories about the drunk pilots. I mean, where else besides being handcuffed in the back of a police car or shackled to the wall of some psycho killer’s basement do you have less control? Nowhere!

Pull that cord you little brat and I am going to Alec Baldwin your ass!

I’m pretty sure that all of my fears regarding air travel stem from childhood trauma.When I was 7, my dad, who was in the Air Force, got stationed in Guam. As we were flying over the Pacific Ocean to get there the plane developed some kind of problem. They made us put on our life vests and people were freaking out. I remember the stewardess (that’s what they called them back then) saying, “Whatever you do, don’t pull the cord on the life vest”. I was like, “Which cord? This one”? YANK!

NO BOBBY! Don't pull that cord!

NO BOBBY! Don't pull the cord!

Well Hell’s Bells Loretta, you woulda thought that the world was coming to an end. The stewardess started screaming at me. My parents started yelling at me. My sister started crying (of course now she laughs hysterically). People were glaring at me. It was like the plane was going to crash and it was all my fault. This was one of those horrid instances when the potential was there for me to do that disassociative thing that would later develop into Multiple Personality Disorder. I didn’t experience that trauma. Velma, the 50 year old biker chick who smokes crack did. As far as I know, that didn’t happen.

OMG! He pulled the cord!

Needless to say, the plane didn’t crash. We made it to Guam and lived there for 2 years. Sand, surf and coconuts. Oh yeah, and typhoons.

I’m not 100% positive – because ya know, I’m not a shrink – that a vast majority of my fear and loathing of flying stems from that one incident. An incident that is as vivid in my mind as the Kennedy assassination or Baby Jessica getting stuck in the well. Every time I get on a plane I relive it. I survey the flight Attendants (that’s what they call them now) and try to determine which one is going to severely admonish me for not listening to instructions or following the rules. Whenever I unbuckle my seatbelt I think, “Am I allowed to do this”? Whenever I go to the bathroom I ask myself, “Will I get in trouble for doing this”?

I can’t exactly recall how many times I have flown since the ‘Oh My God, we’re going to crash over the Pacific Ocean because that twirpy little kid inflated his life vest when he was specifically instructed NOT TO’ incident, but it can’t be more than 15. On more than half of those trips I was extremely intoxicated when I got on the plane. On one trip I was completed drugged out on tranquilizers that my Aunt had given me. This was the same flight that had a high school girl’s basketball team. I remember thinking “Those tranquilizers were all for naught. God wouldn’t let this plane crash with them on board”. Then I remembered those cannibal soccers guys and those U.S. Olympic skaters and changed my mind.

So yeah, I have planeophobia or whatever you call it.

P.S. I wonder if Alec Baldwin will develop a similar phobia?

Who Died and Made You the Know-it-all?

Do you know what bugs me? When people don’t understand the concept of  ‘taste is relative’. Just because THEY like something or were brainwashed into thinking that it’s the ‘be all – end all’ best doesn’t mean that everybody is going to like it. And when you don’t like it – and this really kills me – they just don’t understand why.

Them: I can’t believe you like McDonald’s hamburgers! They’re so gross!
Me: I like ’em.
Them: Why? They’re so tasteless and flat and not the least bit juicy!
Me: I like ’em.
Them: No! You should try these blah blah hamburgers. They’re big and fat and juicy. They’re the best!
Me: I like these McDonald’s hamburgers.
Them: I don’t understand you. These are so much bigger and better and yummier.

What part of “I like McDonald’s hamburgers” do these people not understand?

Them: I can’t believe you don’t like tomatoes!
Me: Rolls eyes
Them: Have you ever TRIED one. They are so good.
Me: I don’t like ’em.
Them: They’re so good for you! Here ( sticks a tomato in your face). Try one!
Me: I don’t like ’em.
Them: I can’t believe you. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Why do people have to stick food that you have emphatically stated you don’t like in your face?

For some reason people seem to think that bigger and newer and most innovative is the best.

If one more person tried to talk me into getting a 3D tv I am going to scream.

Them: You should get one. They’re the best!
Me: I like my ‘regular’ tv.
Them: But 3D is so awesome.
Me: 3D is not NEW you know. I was going to 3D movies in the 60s.
Them: But this is on a tv and the technology is so much better than it was back then.
Me: I’ve been to your house 7 times since you got that 3D tv and not ONCE did we put on a pair of 3D glasses to watch it.
Them: Well, not everything is in 3D.
Me: Also, what makes this 3D technology so much better?
Them: Just look at the glasses!
Me: I like my ‘regular’ tv. Besides, 3D tvs are a d minor first inversion chord.
Them: Puzzled look
Me: F – A  – D. Fad

Obviously this person has never heard of the pet rock or the Macarena.

One day I would love to live in a world where people don’t constantly try to convince you that you Do or Don’t like something. Or that you are mistaken for liking or not liking it.

Shove that Twilight movie in my face ONE MORE TIME and I am going to throw it and you out the window!

I’ve Been Told I have the Musical Taste of a 15 Year Old Girl From the 60s

I don’t really want a boy for my birthday. That’s just sick. No, when I listen to this song – which is usually accompanied by my fantastic cha cha dance moves – I substitute the phrase a million, billion dollars for the word boy. Anyway, it’s a cool song loved most by the borderline geriatric generation. But hey, I like it too. In addition to it being a fantastic cha cha song, it’s also great for doing the mashed potato at a slow to medium pace.

How to do the Cha Cha

How to do the Mashed Potato

The dance begins by stepping backward with one foot with that heel tilted inward. The foot is positioned slightly behind the other (stationary) foot. With the weight on the ball of the starting foot, the heel is then swiveled outward. The same process is repeated with the other foot: step back and behind with heel inward, pivot heel out, and so on. The pattern is continued for as many repetitions as desired. The step may be incorporated in various dances either as a separate routine or as a styling of standard steps.

Speaking of the Mashed Potato, what is up with those lyrics in Dee Dee Sharp’s Mashed Potato Time song?

I’ve been listening to this song since it first came out –  that’s right, I’m frickin’ old ! – and I STILL can’t figure out what she is saying in certain parts. I’ve looked it up on those song lyrics sites and I don’t think that THEY even know. Every site shows different lyrics.

Anyway, I love Dee Dee Sharp. Another one of my favorites by her is Baby Cakes.

Another great (in my opinion) song is Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde by Babs Tino.

Here is a slowed down version of it that I recently found on YouTube. It’s kind of creepy sounding.

It almost sounds like a song that should be playing in the background when someone is being horribly murdered on an episode of that cancelled show Cold Case.

There’s really not a whole lot of information about Babs Tino on the internet (maybe I just don’t know where to look).
Here are some liner notes about her from an Early Girls Vol. 2 album /cd.

Babs Tino hade the looks and the talent but failed to get the breaks and therefore barely qualifies as a footnote to a footnote in the history books. Having made a solitary single for Cameo Records in 1957, it seems she did not record again until 1961 when she signed with Kapp Records and had six singles released between then and 1963. Owner Dave Kapp was a pillar of New York’s musical establishment, a man with strongly held views on the linear alignment of musical notes in relation to pitch and tempo, and no-one got through the door at Kapp unless they could count bars and sing in tune. The best arrangers/songwriters (including Bacharach and Leiber & Stoller) were assigned to Tino’s sessions but only her third single, ‘Forgive me’, made any sort of impression ‘bubbling’ under the Hot 100 for one week in 1962 and gaining a UK release. Her fifth single, ‘Keep Away From Other Girls’, was successfully covered in the UK by Helen Shapiro.”

Poor Babs. Lost in musical oblivion. I’ve listened to her other stuff and Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde is really the only song of hers that I like. Sorry Babs. Hmmmm, I wonder where she is now.

Here’s a bizarre song by what some chick named Suzie. She kind of reminds me of a Sally Field Gidget clone. The song is Johnny Loves Me and is not to be confused with the Shelley Fabares song of the same name (but totally different).

I know, right? Weird. I don’t understand the whole whoops! (or whatever the crap she is saying)  after the Johnny, Johnny, Johnny lines. They should have left that beat blank without a lyric and inserted a rim shot or something (shruggs shoulders).
Suzie was a Dutch singer. She was born Martina Peereboom, in Tilburg in the Netherlands in 1946. I went to her wikipedia page but it was in Dutch (or WHATEVER that language was) and I couldn’t find the translate button, so screw it.

Anyway, I think that’s it. See ya on the flip side.
Flip side, get it. Ya know, like the other side of a record. Which is kind of what this post was about. Never mind!

I’ll take one of each (except that frickin’ Donny and Marie Microphone. What a piece of crap!)

Angel, this is Charlie. I want you to pose as a fashion model.

Charlie’s Angels Hideaway House? Since when?

Is this like a Barbie rap song?

OMG! This jingle.

Really dude? You actually thought that was Donny and Marie on the radio? Who made this commercial? Ed Wood?

It’s not a doll, it’s an action figure!


P.S. No, actually it is a doll.

I Have This Stupid Jingle Stuck in My Head (and other miscellaneous crap)

I have this stupid jingle stuck in my head.

Swing it up
 (yeah, yeah)
It says yes
 (yeah, yeah)
Take the shot
 (yeah, yeah)
Count it down
 (yeah, yeah)
Zip it off
 (HEY!)

Click on the link to listen to it and get it stuck in your head too. And be sure to look out for Ali McGraw.

http://www.archive.org/details/1965PolaroidInstantPhotoCameraCommercialgoodQuality

A video of a song I like.

A gif I made.

Watch this typewriter commercial. It’s groovy.

http://www.archive.org/details/1958CommercialsForRemingtonRandTypewriters
It’s mighty important to express yourself.

What book contains this opening paragraph?

The little old town of Mayenfeld is charmingly situated. From it a footpath leads through green, well-wooded stretches to the foot of the heights which look down imposingly upon the valley. Where the footpath begins to go steeply and abruptly up the Alps, the heath, with its short grass and pungent herbage, at once sends out its soft perfume to meet the wayfarer.

 
If you leave the correct answer in the comments then I’ll give you a pretend gold star and talk about how super-smart and fabulous you are in another post.

Happy Birthday

Today is my sister’s birthday. I got her a birthday card with a Hell’s Angel flipping the bird. When you open the card it plays Don’t Fear the Reaper. I thought it was funny. Anyway…

Did you know that the Happy Birthday song is copyrighted? Tragic, huh. According to the Happy Birthday website it is okay to sing it in your house. But, if you are going to sing it in public – i.e., parks, restaurants, bowling alleys, office buildings, etc. –  you are supposed to pay. Right, like people do that. Anyway, that’s why the serving staff in restaurants sings those alternate songs. That’s why in some tv shows they sing For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow instead of Happy Birthday. I  guess they’re cheap asses.

Whenever I’m around a group of people that are singing Happy Birthday it’s usually so out of tune that you can’t even tell what song it is. I guess that’s a good thing in a way. Makes it harder to get sued if the ‘Happy Birthday Big Brother is Watching You’ people decided to file a suit.

TCHAIKOVSKY: Symphony No. 6, “Pathétique”

TCHAIKOVSKY: Symphony No. 6 in B minor, Op. 74, “Pathétique”.

Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra.
Wilhelm Furtwängler, conductor.

Victor Album DM 553 Victor 17561 – 17566 (032549 – 032560).
Recorded October-November 1938, Beethovensaal, Berlin.
Digital transfer by F. Reeder

http://www.archive.org/details/TchaikovskySymphonyNo.6pathtique

Philip Marlowe OTR

Philip Marlowe OTR

Incredibly stupid audio version of “The Night of the Living Dead”

Click here to lister to The Night of the Living Dead audio version

I love the Prelinger Archives. Recently, I came across an audio version of Night of the Living Dead. I would say that it’s a radio version, but there is some coarse language in it, so probably not. There isn’t too much information about it so I don’t know when it was made.

Anyway, it’s stupid. And ludicrous. I don’t know who these people are that are playing the parts, but…really? They took iconic characters and turned them into complete morons.

The guy playing Johnny acts like a 2 year old. And Barbara… OMG, what an embicile. Granted, she was pretty idiotic  in the original movie, but in this version she’s hideous. She talks like she’s auditioning for a commercial from the 60s. It borders on Chatty Cathy. Her speech pattern is so affected. The guy playing Ben is really bad, too. Nothing like the original character, played by Duane Jones. It almost sounds like a white guy trying to sound black.  He acts like he’s crazy and needs to be committed. In the original movie no reference is ever made to the fact that Ben is black. In this version, Ben brings it up on several occasions.

In the original NOTLD, Harry Cooper is my favorite character. They totally ruined him is this version. Sounds nothing like him.

The guy who plays Tom is probably the most bearable. He supposed to be a teenage, but it sounds like some 30 year old guy trying to sound like a teenager. And Judy….ummmm….horrible.

Karen Cooper is supposed to be about 11 or 12. In this version she’s 5. Well, that’s stupid. Why make her so young? I don’t get it. Also stupid is the fact that she talks to her mother right before she kills her and AFTER she’s killed her father. That’s dumb. Zombies don’t talk. So, either she’s not a zombie yet and is just a parent murderer, or the people who wrote this script are just stupid. Maybe it’s supposed to be funny. IDK.

Anyway, listen to it if you want to. Stupid Barbara says the F word. Twice!